Beauty

Memo to self:  Keep it beautiful.

I had hospital births because they were safe and the cultural norm.  I had a Cesarean because it was deemed necessary for the safety of me and my babies.  I had a home birth because I thought it could be beautiful. 

And the hospital births were done accordingly and with the best medical care available and with my well-being and comfort in mind.  And the Cesarean was done accordingly and with the best medical care available and with my well-being and comfort in mind.  And the home birth was done accordingly and with the best mid-wife ever, and with my well-being and comfort in mind, and, it was beautiful. 

But I wouldn't dare say that my hospital experiences with well qualified doctors were not also beautiful, because they were, by their right, just what I'd needed.  If the goal was to get the baby here safe, with me safe as well, then all of them met that goal according to their set of standards.  And each time a baby was placed in my arms, it was perfect.  And awesome.  And beautiful.

Each person has their own set of experiences in giving birth.  And, in general, each experience has a lot of beauty in it.  

I will say, though, that I was not at all happy with all of my hospital experiences and that is why I chose to have a home-birth with a mid-wife.  But, by the time I'd made that choice, I felt confident that my body knew what it was it needed to do and that I trusted my mid-wife to make any necessary call that we needed to go to a hospital should something go wrong during the delivery.  And, gratefully, everything went well and I was handed a beautiful baby in the comfort of my own home surrounded by people who loved me.

I know that not everybody wants a home-birth, not everyone would feel comfortable with my choice, nor will every woman every time have everything go as well as hoped.  Your choice and your experience must be your own, based on information given to you. 

And I'm rambling because I can't quite put a finger on how to say what I want to say. . .

There is a site, the man nurse diaries, that I was directed to via a good friend's blog who is a proponent of natural births.  When I was directed to his page, I knew I was going to a post that would be about the risks involved with a cesarean (and it was well presented and written) and was also advised to "Be sure to click on the art work in the article. It is profound."  As I clicked and viewed the artwork, (which you get an example of at the first of his post but the link to the gallery is now not working) I became sick to my stomach by what I perceived to be visually disturbing and, ugly.  The pictures represented hurt and sadness, loss and suppression. 

Those images haven't left my mind. 

They are so stark in contrast to the beauty of the experience of having a baby.  And I left that gallery feeling like the cause for natural births - something so simply and wonderfully beautiful - is fought so much better with beauty and love, as opposed to blood and fear. 

I don't want to attack people or their view points or blatantly shake a finger and claim that so and so is wrong.  I want this site to be filled with beauty, because walking with Eve, when you get the chance, is beautiful.